Pizza

What Do You Want?

Buddy: Hey, you want to see that new Bond movie tonight?

Pal: I’d like to.

Buddy: But you don’t want to.

Pal: Yes I do. I just–

Buddy: –You live minutes from the theater and have cash in the bank, so… you have the means and the fortune to do so. If you want to go to the movies, you would go to the movies.

Pal: I have to work tonight so–

Buddy: –I get it, you want to make more money, you want to keep your job, and you want that more than you want to go to the movies tonight so… you would like to go.

Pal: That’s what I said.

Buddy: Exactly, which is why I said you don’t want to go.

Pal: … Alright smarty, you like pizza–

Buddy: Love it!

Pal: So your going to tell me that if right now, I made a pepperoni and sausage from that place, um… ?

Buddy: Dinos.

Pal: Dino’s Pizza!

Buddy: They’re out of business.

Pal: Fine, I’ll give you the Means and Fortune. I’m a geni–

Buddy: Barbara Eden or Robin Williams?

Pal: Your changing the subject.

Buddy: Sorry.

Pal: I’m a geni, Bam! There’s your Dino’s Pizza, right here, nice and hot with a cold pitcher of beer.

Buddy: Stella?

Pal: Two pitchers!

Buddy: Make it two pizzas!

Pal: Two pizzas, bam! Tomatoey garlicy goodness steaming into the air. Your going to tell me that you don’t want that pizza?

Buddy: I do not.

Pal: Shut the front door!

Buddy: I want to loose five pounds more than anything right now, therefore I’d like to have that pizza, but I won’t eat it.

Pal: You know what? I realize now what I want.

Buddy: What is that?

Pal: For you to shut up.

Buddy: You’d like that wouldn’t you?

Pal: Arrrgh!

Buddy: You have neither the means or the fortune.