Actor Alec Baldwin attends the premiere of Sony Pictures Classics' "Blue Jasmine" hosted by SK-II and Quintessentially Lifestyle at the Museum of Modern Art on Monday, July 22, 2013 in New York. (Photo by Evan Agostini/Invision/AP)

Moonlighting

From time to time I take odd jobs and many in “The Arts” do.

Today I was Alec Baldwin’s hand double. We shot MOS (without sound) and this is what a fly on the wall would have heard today, I kid you not —

Director: Okay now stroke it… up and down… now touch the tip with your finger… okay now stroke it again. Faster… Now hide the tip in your hand like you don’t want anyone to see, like you don’t want to get caught.

Cameraman: Wait, he’s wearing jeans.

— Now here’s the weird thing.  I had to put on his jacket and shirt.  Was it a new shirt?  No it was sweaty.  Whyl?  I was the one doing all the work!