When Things Are Bad

I know how it is.

S@#*t goes BAD.

Between that late bill that you, “just don’t have the money for” or that new wrinkle around your eyes that seems to be multiplying right before your eyes, or your sudden realization that you didn’t proofread your job application and not only did you use “it’s” when you should have used “it’s”, you made the Freudian slip of placing a, “T” in front of it thereby giving a clear indication of your internet surfing habits. This on top of the plethora of shows on TV who rely on your angst to entertain you, it’s safe to say that right now your feeling pretty, “Pretty, pretty, pretty… BAD.”


Take solace, (or is it solice?)… regardless, one thing remains and based on history, it will be there till the end of time.


And fellow misspellers, let’s be clear…

I’m not talking “No, I don’t want to do that.” wine your kid makes.

or your wife’s wine, “I don’t want to watch that.”

or your husband’s wine, “I don’t want to have to watch that!”

Wait a minute, that’s “whine” isn’t it?

Who cares?

I’m five glasses in.

Drink Wine!

I’m talking the wine of The Last Supper.

The wine Ulysses gave the Cyclops.

The wine Lot shared with his daughters.

… okay, maybe not that… but something like that… the orgy part is kind of…

Never mind… Sorry.

I digress.

I’m talking the wine Paul Giamatti drank out of a spittoon when met his ex-wife’s new husband and the namesake of every “Wino” derelict bum who’s given up on almost everything. (Except wine of course)

I’m talking about grapes smashed by the bare feet of emerald eyed, curly-haired, Mediterranean, olive drabbed skinned, too much boob showin’ peasant girls, that is then fermented in wood barrels.

THAT’S! what I’m talkin’ about.

You can’t spell or do math? (like me, lol)

Drink wine!

You hate what you see on the news?

Drink wine!

Your cat shit on your bed… “again!”

Drink wine!

Your ex not only has a better life since you split but their new “love” is the, “Best thing that has ever happened to them!”

Fuck them.

You still have WINE!

Drink it for God’s sake. After all, his son did and look what he could do!

Resurrection! Hello?!

And even if you can’t afford T-Bird or Charles Shaw, most likely you have a friend, neighbor, or insignificant otherwise you would be glad to give you a glass or two. Just ask!

And finally… want your wrinkles to disappear?

Have a seventh glass then look in the mirror.

That’s it!

“Now your pretty!”

W I N E ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

It does a body good : )